Cotton Wool

Its fairly safe to say, most of the athletes who have been training hard for the Ironman (Melbourne) over the last few months are in a very vulnerable state as we speak. We are 23 days away from the Big Race with a few key training sessions left on the program before we enter into the taper phase.

This little duck is trying to be positive about the whole lead up period but to be frank, I am quite an emotional wreck. I have written about this before - I have mild anxiety and have attacks once in a while. Coupling this with exhaustion from the training load will undoubtedly lead to bouts of emotional lows, rapid and pronounced heart palpitations, tears and even an occasional vomit here and there.

The last week has magnified everything this event is all about. The athlete info guide came out on Monday. When I downloaded it and actually read it during my lunch break, the shear volume of emotional (proportional to the logistics of the day) just sent me to a whirlwind of blackness. I had to take myself to the bathroom to throw up. Once that little episode was done, I confided in a friend who reminded me that I was ok. One positive thing which came out of that day is that I have read the guide and now my fear of the unknown is slightly less - winning!

The next thing to be released on the website was the athlete number of all the participants. My athlete number for the 24th March is 555. I am no longer just another one of the 1500+ people standing on the shores of Frankston on the 24th March, I am athlete number 5 5 5. This set off another one of my anxiety episodes. I started to get sweaty and dizzy and had to escape those thoughts with one of my coping mechanisms - music.

Since I have spoken/confided to the coaches of Tri Alliance, my anxiety of this whole thing has slightly decreased. I think I was getting worried as I wasn't putting enough trust in myself and my own abilities that I am going to be ok on the day.

We have a couple more big training weekends left and it's just a matter of getting through them and trusting that my body and mind will be ready on the big day. Athletes (who have done Ironman races before have gone through this period) have advised me that I will be so ready and itching to start the race especially during the few days of taper when the training load decreases (by about 50-75%).

For now, I am wrapping myself in a pile of cotton wool - from stress, sick people, junk food and negativity (especially the one coming from my own mind). I am at a vulnerable state (physically and mentally) so best to concentrate on being the best that I can be and surround myself with love, love, love!

I can't wait to see the light at the end of this tunnel. 23 days and counting.