A very different person

I have been reflecting upon the "triathlete" I am today compared to what I was this time last year. There are both good and not-so-good differences between the two. The "looking back" came about after seeing a few first-timers reflect on their weekly achievements through social media and also just in general conversations during training. Its not a bad thing that athletes talk about their achievements especially for a first timer. I never see it as boasting about how awesome they are (or how much better they are compared to others), personally I feel that people do it because they are proud of their achievements. Nothing wrong with that.

This is one of the reasons why I kept a diary on my journey in triathlon, it gave me a means of reflection and how I grew as a person (who happen to do triathlon).

Some of the differences between the person I was last year to the person I am today include:

• Then - I attended the 3 training camps last year. Now - This year, I have only attended Lorne 2013, wasn't eligible for the Advance Camp (was Long Course) and I will not be attending the Pre Season camp due to finances and family commitments. I was more eager to do these camps as to give myself a peak no matter how much they cost. This year, I have been budgeting more and keeping money aside for travel and other life expenses.
• Then - I was attending double session Tuesday and Thursdays. Now - My body is just not coping (read recovering) well enough to put in 100% into these. Therefore I have not been able to work on my running (Tuesday mornings) and Bike (Thursday mornings) as much as I was last year. I am hoping to be able to pick up these sessions within the month of September.  
• Then - I previously wrote in a post on 20 July 2012 that I had found a new confidence about being on the bike. This time last year, we were just riding Beach Rd (riding the distances rather than doing strength work amongst the hills). Now - I have now gained a new level of anxiety regarding heading out to do hills amongst a large group of my squad. Luckily, the anxiety is only about descending and not general cycling. I still don't have the confidence and enough bike skills to descend without feathering the brakes on the way down. Because my bike time during Melbourne Ironman was just so long, I don't know if I have lost my passion or motivation to be out there on Beach Rd. Other than commuting to work and back, I have not ridden Beach Rd with the squad since April.
• Then - I would be hesitant about running long distances (lack of endurance). Now - I have gained a new level of confidence in doing a half-marathon. This time last year, I had completed (what I called) a fast 10km at Run Melbourne and then my 14km as part of Sydney's City to Surf in preparation for my Half Marathon in October. This year, I have done 2 half marathon events - Run Melbourne and Sandy Point that I am confident enough about the half marathon in October. I will be aiming for a time < 120min. Going to bust my guts out! 
• Then - Swimming was about getting through a guided program with the squad. Now - I am able to swim confidently by myself and know what I need to work/program if I am not able to swim with the squad. I am able to work on my weakness and surprisingly, I have found a new love in swimming with a pullbouy and band.
• Then - Everything was all about my FIRST - This time last year, I had won my slot into Melbourne Ironman (my first Ironman) and until then, I was training for my first half Ironman (Shepp) - I was putting in 100% into training and at all expense. All I was thinking about was (not failing) in my first events. All the distances I was swimming, riding and running was my first, longest and sometimes fastest. Now - Because I know what is coming ahead, I feel that I have a slight fear of when the loads start to increase and hoping that my body and mind will agree to go through it again. To be honest, I really do miss that enthusiasm. I envy my first-timer friends who are so committed, enthusiastic, fascinated, involved and matured in their journey into their firsts (half or full) Ironman, Olympic triathlon, half marathon races. I guess all I can do at this point is just to continue what I can do and be surrounded in that positive energy.

As I enter these thoughts into this entry, I have the following:
44 days until my next Half Marathon
65 days until Noosa
79 days until Shepparton
156 days until Challenge Melbourne
205 days until Melbourne Ironman