FEAR - Part 2

Following on from my previous post about Fear (of Failure), my second biggest fear that I have in life (and in the sport of Triathlon) is the Fear of the Unknown.

I have a slight OCD tendencies (like any triathlete isn't) - I do have certain routines and I do things a certain way as it comforts me. Whenever I am on some topic ranging from looking at a new bike, wetsuit, training schedule, race, nutrition, rental property, dogs, tattoos, you name it...I will google it to death until I am satisfied that I know everything about it before I make any decision(s) or I find another topic to be obsessed about. I don't like to be placed in a situation where I am not aware of what I have to do or say and I hate being under prepared.

Because of my need to know what is happening all the time - I am a good planner and I rely on facts. I don't like to wing it. I book things in advance as I don't like to leave things to the last minute and expect/rely on people to help you out. Good example of this, is accommodation for triathlons and holidays. With the lack of spare time a triathlete has, why leave these things to the last minute and expect that things will be available? Book it when you register for the event, no need to stress, no need to sleep in cars!

The fear of the unknown is one of the reasons why it has taken me such a long time to be comfortable in the open water. My fear in the open water is not only related to the creatures swimming in it but also the possibility that I will be swimming towards the middle of nowhere and not being able to get back into shore. Whenever we do open water swimming in training, I need to have a marker to swim towards. I would be more comfortable about swimming in deep water towards a marker than swimming along the shallow shoreline without one.

Although I am relatively comfortable now about being in the ocean (conquering my fear when I swam the Big Bay Swim this year 2012 from Port Melbourne to Williamstown), the thought of the unknown of what is floating/swimming beneath my body still freaks me out. I have established several coping mechanisms regarding these thoughts, they include imagining the sea creatures as cartoons (like spongebob square pants) through to singing songs (such as GnR's Sweet Child of Mine) in my head to take my mind off images of dead carcasses or even worse - pools of jellyfishes which may be swimming beneath me. Mind you, the sight of a single jellyfish in the water still freaks me out. Luckily we have had a decreased number of them over the last few years.

I do still have mild anxiety attacks regarding doing things which I have never done before. But I have learnt a few coping mechanisms to help me through. Doing triathlon training and racing itself has set some of those anxieties aside.
The fear of the unknown and the obsessive need to learn about everything has also played a (good) part for me as a coach. I do consider myself a knowledgeable person in terms of giving people advice regarding triathlon. I do have access to all the training programs in the squad ranging from beginners through to advance full ironman so I know what training schedules people are working on and so I can provide advice if people have questions. I won't provide answers unless I am 100% sure of what I am stating is correct - state facts.

I suppose this fear has made me the person that I am today - I pay attention to detail (obsessively), knowledgeable, reliable and like to have things organised well in advanced.