So, whilst I was supporting the Ironman yesterday, I had noticed how "lean" many of the athletes were. I remember that stage of my life where I was hovering around 56-57kg which was my lightest as I was so stringent on what I ate (I was obsessed about Calories) and was consistent in my training. Fast forward to the next year of Ironman, I concentrated more on being a stronger athlete and not watched what I ate at all - just made sure I didn't go crazy with desserts etc. I became lean closer to race day and I was also a stronger athlete.
Since I raced my last Ironman in 2014 and changing my goals towards just getting through some races over the 2014-15 season, I have noticed that my body hasn't reacted the same as the last 2 previous years. I knew that my body would not be as lean as I was not training 20+ hours a week.
This post is an honest one - I currently weigh the heaviest ever. I have not weighed myself in over 18 months and this morning, I was feeling slightly irritated from some negativity on social media and for some reason, I decided to weigh myself - 65kg and I was no happy and not the smartest idea to weigh myself when I am not in the best of moods.
I have felt really low regarding my lack of activity and motivation to train since the middle of 2014. I would attribute it to my previous workplace where I was in such a dark place. I honestly felt bullied by upper management and the fact that management (HR) and my direct manager were not supporting me for all that I have done for the company, I felt betrayed....rant over and now back to triathlon....
I guess that everything just aligned itself too as I have recently made a move to change triathlon squads. I am now a member of Bayside Tri Squad due to a few factors - the main one being that I currently work and live in Bayside area and Tri Alliance is not providing me with the training that I need. Being an assistance coach with Tri Alliance also required a few sacrifices in terms of my own training and due to a few circumstances, I could not satisfy my own requirements to meet my own goals.
I decided to make a move based on the fact that when I was doing my (own) swims at GESAC, the Bayside Tri Squads had their training lanes there. Bayside also leave on their Wednesday rides literally 10m from my front door and they leave on their long rides just down the end of Bay Street. I have also advised the coaching team at Bayside that I want to be just an athlete and no longer a coach. I just want to concentrate on achieving my own goals and not having my schedule broken down with coaching. I am being selfish for now. I need to recharge and reintroduce the training back into my life.
If you are wondering if I am going to sign up for Ironman Melbourne, the answer is "one day" but not 2016. I have decided to challenge myself for 3 Peaks in 2016 and discovering the hills of Victoria.
I have signed up for Challenge Shepparton and my winter training will be about that with a few hilly rides thrown in. I do love swimming and I want to achieve my goal of a half marathon under 2 hours. Bringing my weight back down to below 60kg will not be a goal in itself rather than something I will watch for when I am training towards my goals. I KNOW that being as lean as I was when I was training for Ironman is not sustainable but I want to be comfortable in my skin again. None of my clothes which I have been wearing for the last 3 years fit anymore. I am bursting out of my 10D bras and this is something I am not comfortable about anymore.
Starting from April, I will be joining the Bayside Tri Squad with their schedule training sessions and I am looking forward to be amongst a routine of coach-athletes rather than just doing my own thing because I was no able to attend the sessions due to location and schedules.
Wishing me luck for the next phase of my triathlon-life!